Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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