I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
