I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
