therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
