VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
