I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just invented taco cereal.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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