someone owes me an orgasm
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
