i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
