with your own penis?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.