It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
