i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
