I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize