I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
3pm strippers are depressing
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
