I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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