I would do horrible things to your vagina.
they're staring at me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.