No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You're breaking my sexual little heart