I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.