Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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