There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize