Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
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You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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