So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
