just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
