well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize