I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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