Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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