I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
