i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
