I just threw up on my dentist
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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