I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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