Dual....:-)
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
