that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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