Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
