belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
