This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
