He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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