Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
