i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
