yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
