My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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