I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
