S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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