Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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