i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
