i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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