i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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