She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
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At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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