Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
