Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
