I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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