nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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