ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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