i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
