I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
