You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
