She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
