I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I supernannyed him into submission
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
