when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
