Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
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Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
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Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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