Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
