Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
